I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
