I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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