smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
