Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
