He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
