i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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