a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
