Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
