i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
