I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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