You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
