is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
