i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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