I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
