her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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