Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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