It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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