I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
