Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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