Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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