Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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