pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
FUCK WHALES
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
