forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His hands were made for my vagina.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
