I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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