Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
