Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
