i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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