people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dick very happy bro
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
