Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize