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You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
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Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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