i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
