I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
