He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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