So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
