they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
