i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize