4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
please come you make the beer taste better
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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