no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
