one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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