Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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