New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
