dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm bleeding and have questions
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
