i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
