I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm experimenting with sincerity
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
