awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
