just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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