Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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