and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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