i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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