Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
