I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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