you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
