Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
