Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
