Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
