yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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