im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
