I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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