Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter

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