Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
