So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
