youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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