Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
