I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
