dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
