I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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