Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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