i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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